The Holidays....

Hope that everyone had an extraordinary Christmas! I'm writing this while drinking a glass....or two... of "da vino"...
My Christmas was extremely good. Miss E. got her foam climbing blocks and has kept busy with them ever since- using them as slides and figuring out the best way to go down the fastest- usually sitting up going backwards. She's so amazing, and so much fun... I know that any day now she's just going to start talking in full sentences.
For Christmas I was the lucky recipient of CROSS CANADIAN RAGWEED and Pat Green tickets!!! As well as some "unmentionables" from my hubby... it was sweet- and I was flattered by the fact that he thought I'd look hot in "fire truck red" .... however due to my recent lifestyle change.. it's left me with a lack of undergarments that fit properly.... so while it was extremely flattering... it wasn't the most practical... but he scored MAJOR brownie points for trying!
I guess this Christmas for me- was more of a reality check... who are we kidding- everyone says they love the holidays... but I'm calling BULLSHIT on that one. Who REALLY enjoys the scramble to find those presents for everyone... not to mention the stress of getting cards out in enough time to cover your ass should someone send you a card that you didn't send one too. Also dealing with wrapping presents and unruly family... who you usually end up wanting to strangle. I don't think it's really the holidays we love- I have come to the conclusion that we love the idea of the holidays. Feeling warm and fuzzy watching those hokey Holiday specials... and feeling an increased sense of "friendliness" that is usually forgotten in the mall parking lots when that bastard in the Lexus decides to take the parking space that you've been sitting there with your blinker on, pining for the past twenty minutes... you really have to remind yourself that no level of satisfaction is worth a criminal record for harassment or violent behavior... although for a few fleeting seconds- you honestly feel it might break even.
No- I really don't relish the Holiday Fever... what I love about Christmas is actually Christmas itself... as well as the Christmas Eve service you go to- after of course you and your husband get into a fight because of his disdain for the fact that it really IS necessary that if you're showing legs- you DO shave even though it IS dark out...because you have to wear a dress last minute because you see him pulling out his suit coat and you know you can't show up in something simple if your husband is wearing a suit.
But back to the service... I love the sermon... the reminder of the birth of Christ... the candles and low lights minutes before you sing Silent Night... that is my favorite. Going to bed and knowing that when you wake up- that morning will be a part of your memory for the rest of your life. Everyone can have an appreciation for the notion that even though the world isn't perfect- on Christmas eve- there is the feeling that something so much bigger than anything you could ever imagine is taking place before you. That you have a role in the Nativity of Life... you have a fleeting glimpse of how much good is actually in the world.
I use the word glimpse- because one of my absolute favorite movies is "The Family Man". Jack gets a glimpse of what his life could've been like... and he sees all the good that is possible... I love that feeling. Waking up each morning and knowing that you have the chance every morning to life that day fully... it's really something we take advantage of. Being alive.
This Christmas as I watched my daughter placing her toys around the house- and reveling in her brilliance of playing with each of them in random order... I was reminded how thankful I am of being alive- and how blessed I am to wake up knowing how much I have to be thankful for.

Follow-up to Memo...

So.. back in October I had informed the online community that I was going to give myself a "life style update"....
I felt that since I announced it in such a manor- I should probably own up to what's been going on.
Let's start with my favorite- church... we've consistently gone to church and Greg and I have actually talked about the sermons!! For those of you who know my husband- having a serious conversation with him that lasts longer than five minutes is like saddling up an elk during the rut. (this is the same guy who when I asked if nuts gave him gas- he laughed- pointed to his crotch and said "well even if they did- I don't think there's much I could do about it... I've grown quite attached to them"...) given yesterday we did make it TO church- as in the parking lot- but we realized we were twenty minutes late... and not that God hands out tardies or anything- but we just felt wrong walking into church during the middle of the sermon- especially since there's no "back door"- you walk in from the side of the sanctuary- so when you're late- EVERYONE SEES YOU... including the pastor- who usually waves... (FINE-WE'RE LATE A LOT! I CAN'T HELP IT!!! It's a genetic predisposition I have...for those of you who know my mother)
Anyways-we're doing good on the church front.

As far as my gym commitment... I have gone each week at least four times (I try for 5)... and in the past 6 weeks I've lost 15 pounds and 14 inches!!!
I'm getting pretty close to where I was in high school... which to me- makes me happy.

About simplifying my life- I feel I've been doing pretty good. I haven't just shopped without need... and even when I've felt the urge to splurge- I haven't. With Christmas coming up- I'm sure I'll be tested... but trial by fire seems to work out well for me- so bring it on!
My stress level has decreased tremendously, probably mostly due to the fact that I'm working out on my lunch.. so my day is split up and I have an outlet for work stress, and I get an hour to be selfish and just worry about me. Which I've found I've kind of come to need. My dad always told me that our family genetics included tendencies for addiction- the trick- he said- was to make sure that you develop healthy addictions. I feel I've capitalized on that.

Like I've said in my previous posts... Life is good.
... and on that note- so is yours! You've just got to capitalize on the good! :)

Thanksgiving in Review..

For those of you who know my family- Thanksgiving is usually a big deal. Lots of food- tons of family running around- followed by football with uncontrolled napping... as well as shopping with unbridled glee 12 hours after.
However- this Thanksgiving was very humbling. I say that in a good way. Basically, it forced our family to look at all of the things we have to be thankful for.
A week before Thanksgiving- Papa (my mom's dad) passed out while he was taking a shower. He fell and got a compound fracture in his left leg. The incident got complicated by his knees- he'd had both of them replaced- so they're both metal. The break occurred right above his knee- so when he fell in the shower- he wasn't able to adjust himself to even get out. Fortunately, my mom's cousin was able to be reached and he was able to come help get him out of the shower while they waited for paramedics to arrive. Once he got to the hospital, they determined that he needed surgery- and since he's only got 30% of his heart working- it's considered a relatively large risk. Since he's always had such good health though- they went through with it and inserted a metal plate where the bone used to be. Surgery went well- and he spent the first few days in the hospital in Hays, Ks.
They transported him back to Ness City where he will be for the next seven weeks or so. He's doing rehabilitation and resting up there.

Basically- our whole Thanksgiving was completely "by the seat of your pants"... in fact- we didn't even know if we were going until a day before. We didn't feel right going to my grandma's house because we felt that would just be additional pressure- so we had our Thanksgiving meal at the Golden Corral. It was my mom's brother, his wife, my two cousins- Matt and Sarah, Dad, Max, Greg, Eva and myself. As we were eating- it dawned on me that for sooooo long I'd been afforded the opportunity to not have to worry about plans for Thanksgiving- it was always a given that we'd eat as a family at someone's house. Health had never before been an issue, and neither had availability.
What was it about that holiday that gave me the impression that you couldn't "eat out" with family? Had I really taken that much for granted in the past? Why did it feel so awkward to be sitting in a restaurant surrounded by strangers on a day when you're supposed to be Thankful for the food that's in front of you?
In all honesty- yes- I had been taking everything for granted. I had failed to appreciate the simple fact that I was able to see and spend time with my family... much less graze endlessly on the feast laid out before me. I have so much to be Thankful for- why is it that it takes a close call to bring you back down to earth?

This Thanksgiving- I will always remember. Not because it was an exceptionally good one... but because it brought to my attention what I should remember to be thankful for on a daily basis.

We were able to steal a back room at the Care Center in Ness, and continue our eating and snacking as a family. My mom, grandma, and grandpa were able to participate in the eating of pumpkin pie and various other snacks. THAT is the feeling that I will always remember. THAT is what humbled me... listening to Papa say his traditionally amazingly long prayer before we ate... I can tell you- this time- it didn't seem nearly long enough.

As amazingly unconventional as my Thanksgiving was- I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Fireman's Wife

So for those of you who don't know... my hubby is working on becoming a fireman. IN FACT- he's basically a shoe-in for this awesome internship program up north of here. He's currently working as an EMT, and he's so great at it. I am so very proud of him and everything that he's done and what he wants to do.

It seems that now that he's in the running for a position- I've been doing some thinking about what all my new role will entail and what to expect... so I've come to a few conclusions...
- My husband will be facing danger at basically every call he responds to.
- Each time I tell him good bye- there will ALWAYS be that chance it will be the last.
- Once dry season comes- Eva and I will be by ourselves for weeks at a time.
- He has no reservations about running into a burning building risking his life to help someone else.
- He has got one of the biggest hearts of anyone I know
- I could not be more proud of him.


I know that there are thousands of wives who deal with this same issue, and have been for thousands of years. But I can't help but wonder how they have dealt with being in this role. It will be much simpler since we're in the "age of instant communication"... but I cannot imagine what it must've been like to just be waiting at home for him to return... then hearing days later that he will never walk through the door.
I can't help but feel like I should take the time now to appreciate our time together, and make it a point to always let him know how much I love him and how proud I am of him.

I guess my point today is to appreciate your husband. Never take for granted those mornings when you've got that extra few minutes to lay in bed with his arms wrapped around you. I've got to do a better job of appreciating that!

Marriage ... what no one ever tells you..

I have been married to my husband for close to two years now. Given our marriage was "accelerated" by a few things.. however- I think there are a few KEY items that I was never informed about before we "took the plunge". I feel it is my duty to women everywhere to let them know what REALLY happens behind closed doors- because I was completely unprepared.

Those "adorable" little quirks he has that you think are lovable now... will REALLY irk you at some point in the future. He will leave the dishes in the sink when he could easily and effortlessly, just wash them off and throw them in the dish washer. His chivalrous traits will wane slightly, although not all the way. You will at times have to give him "that look" when he forgets to open your car door for you, or doesn't hold the door open, or makes an entrance in front of you.

You WILL get in the BIGGEST fights over petty things because they happen again.... and again... and again.... AND the OTHER things you will fight about will be based around Sex, Money, and Family (and probably in that order).

You WILL have days when you do things to each other just to annoy them.
You WILL have days when you just don't want to talk to him.
You WILL (eventually) fight over who goes to the grocery store.
You WILL come to the realization that there are some things that he will just NEVER understand.
You WILL wonder why you chose to get married in the first place.
You WILL doubt decisions you've made.
You WILL get into a fight because you will be "too tired".
You Will NEVER understand his obsession over some of his "toys".
You WILL yell at him because he does NOT understand that doing the laundry doesn't mean just turning on the washing machine and throwing a load in- a complete "laundry" session constitutes of ACTUALLY remembering to put them in the dryer- and for the 100th time- your FAVORITE sweater does NOT go in the dryer... and that a Dryer sheet is - in fact- a necessity.
You WILL tell him how disgusting he is for clipping his toe nails in random places- and you will have to tell him over and over again to do it over the trashcan or toilet.
You WILL gently (then not so gently) point out that dirty clothes NEXT to the hamper are only inches away from the actual hamper... IT IS NOT THAT HARD TO PUT THEM IN THERE!!!!!
You WILL get grossed out by what he considers "acceptable" breakfast food (Ramen is NOT a breakfast food)
You WILL feel like his mother/keeper at times.

However... with the bad- you've also got a lot of good...
You WILL have some of the best times of your life with him.
He WILL make up for his perceived short comings
You WILL still consider some of his quirks cute.
He WILL be one of the only ones who can totally turn your day around.
You WILL be thankful to be going home to him when you hear your friends talking about their dating experiences
He WILL support and love you and see you through huge changes in your life- and he will fully understand everything going on- because it's his life too.

All in all... you ARE happier being married- but because you love him so much- you're able to get mad at him and yell at him because when it comes down to it... that's what marriage is about. You know all of each other's faults and short comings- but you love each other regardless- and because of that- you love each other even more.

Memo To The World

Recently, as some of you might know, I came down with whooping cough. I was basically "out of commission" for a month... During that time, a lot happened. My husband and I had a critical moment in our marriage, my grandmother had last-minute open heart surgery, and an extremely close friend lost someone very dear to them. It really made me re-evaluate my life. I began doing some reading into simplifying your life... and what it really means to take care of yourself. This brought on more personal issues as I delved deeper into why I am the way I am, and how much has changed in my life over the past five years. I began asking myself why I was taking advantage of life... why I don't take more time for prayer and meditation...why I struggle with weight... why I was becoming so stressed out over trivial issues... This brought me to a conclusion- I bring this on myself.
I had become so wrapped up in just everything- I had forgotten to take care of me. Now given, my life has been a whirlwind the past few years, but that's no excuse for someone to not take the high road.

So after doing some praying, more reading, and soul searching... I have decided to say no. "What?" you say... "Say no to what?"... I am saying no to excuses; no to bad judgment; and no to actions that don't reflect the person that I want to be.

I'm sure most of you are thinking... meh- this is a phase she's going through... she'll get tired of it. But that is exactly why I'm publishing this... by posting this to review by my friends, family, and even strangers- I am allowing people to openly see my struggles. Making intentions public automatically mean that I can be held accountable to this change.

What am I changing? Little things- which are, in the end, the biggest things. I began by going through my closet and getting rid of clothing that I never wear. To me, this symbolized ridding myself of unnecessary materialism. I then looked at my average day, and forced myself to rework my schedule to include only the things that I considered important and that make me happy.... and an AMAZING thing has happened!! I've found more time to do things I love!!! I'm no longer stressed out in the mornings when we're running around the house getting ready to leave... I enjoy sitting down and eating breakfast and watching cartoons with my daughter... I love going to work being prepared- but relaxed throughout the day.. I LOVE going to pick up my daughter and going to the park, or going for a walk without thinking that I need to be doing other things. Since I made more time in my day, I actually have time to think about me, and what I need to do for myself so that I'm at MY best... so I've starting reading the bible again daily, taking time to pray and meditate on what I've read and what's on my heart- to write it down... Being able to do this- reminded me that my body IS a temple.. and I need to take care of it- so I joined a gym so that I'm able to work out during my lunch. I consider working out a release, and this new trend keeps me energized throughout my day. I am really excited about this lifestyle "update"... and really feel good about making a change.

We only have one life, and I plan on living it to the fullest in the best way possible. I encourage you to do one thing- jot down the most important four or five things in your life... then look at your average day. How can you make your days better? What needless tasks can you eliminate? How much do you watch TV, or spend on the computer at home? What can you change so that you're spending more time doing what you love? Ask yourself those questions, and I promise, you'll want to "update your life" as well!!!

I really love my husband

So everyone knows that I adore my husband.. I love him to death...
However... no not even a however.. This case calls for a "but"...
I LOVE MY HUSBAND.. BUT...
The other morning.. I coulda' KEEEEEEEHHHHLLLLLLLLDDDD him. (that's "killed" for those of you not familiar with Achmed the Dead Terrorist).
So... our beautiful little girl has a little run in with diarrhea. It was horrid, so of course- we take her to the tub to take her clothes off and hose her down.. so as I'm giving her a bath.. I hear him turn on the washing machine... I'm PRAYING that he didn't just throw the clothes in without washing them off... so I continue bathing her.. and he walks into the bathroom with an accomplished smile on his face.. and I ask... "you did wash off the clothes before you threw them in the washing machine- didn't you?"... his smile fades.. "No- why would you need to- it washes them for you... that's why its called a WASHING MACHINE."

Now... by this point in time... its about 7:30 in the morning.. we're already running late.. I'm beyond annoyed- and his seemingly funny retort just mangled the morning more.

"You're right... we only want CLEAN SHIT floating around in our washing machine.. What ARE you thinking?!?!?!? WAIT!! I know.. you AREN'T because no person in their right mind would throw clothes that have BABY crap ALL over them right into the wash to be 'washed' right along with the clothes!!!"

Of course this instigates an all out fight in which I am perfect and never do anything wrong- and how he can't do anything right. UGH!


SERIOUSLY... this wouldn't happen if men would do take care of SHIT before helping out!!!

hehe no pun intended..

Where do we Americans get off...

So... the other night on one of those "history channel" specials did an in-depth coverage on the "energy crisis". Of course- since I'm a geek- I watched it- and took notes. (Much to Greg's dismay it was my turn to be couch commando- so he had to suffer through basically a crash course of energy- and watching things he had NO interest in... I took as payback for the endless hours I've had to listen or watch the Rockies)... however- back to the subject...
They interviewed a series of people.. consisting of executives of BP, Exxon, etc., as well as "industry gurus" who have been studying consumption and development patterns and numbers basically their entire life. In opposition, of course they found environmental activists, harking on how oil is keeping renewables from springing up.

Blaming the government for lack of funding/interest...

Let's get to what really irks me.
First and foremost- I see the ACTUAL usage of the entire US on a daily basis. I document and analyze energy projects that are in all stages- just announced, under construction...etc. I can tell you right now- the government isn't keeping renewables from taking over- it's the INABILITY of American's to stomach the costs, and habits that we'd have to take up in order to MAKE them happen.
Let's rehash the typical American's day... we get up.. turn off our alarm clocks..turn on coffee (made with water we don't need to worry if it's drinkable or not)... stumble to the light switch and turn them on without a second thought to whether or not there will be electricity... then we take our shower.. do our grooming routines... make up, hair stuff, blowdryer, etc... once we're done.. then we get breakfast ready for ourselves or kids... which usually means toaster, frying pan... food from the refrigerator or freezer.. milk/juice from the local walmart...or from the pantry- filled with more food items than most families in the world will see in a month... then pick our coffee cup or plate from our choice of dishware...turn on the TV... AND WE HAVEN'T EVEN LEFT OUR HOUSE YET!!!!!
We are all guilty of keeping renewables from happening. The truth is- while there's an abundance of them, they ARE NOT AS RELIABLE (right now) as America would need them to be to support our Mornings- MUCH LESS OUR ENTIRE DAY!!
Even right now- if you're reading this... you're sitting at a computer because you've got time and resources available to you. You probably have a phone sitting within an arm's reach as well.

Basically, what I'm saying is that we have had such a shift in society from providing our own necessitites of life... we no longer have the capability to be self-sufficient! There has been a complete and total change in the habits of this country. We are no longer required to produce our own food, provide shelter, or basically anything else. We've gotten so used to having things HANDED to us- it is now expected and not just expected- but demanded.
Until we experience a shift in our ideaology of expecting to have everything when we want it- our "dependence" on fossil fuels isn't an option- it's a way of life.

A Day In The Life

So yesterday I ventured into the world of blogging... Like I said.. I am doing this not only as an outlet- but for "educational purposes" as well.

For those of you who have kids, you'll appreciate this post...
Let me preface this entry with a little background. Throughout high school, I had three very close friends. The odd thing about our little "gang" is that we were all as different as you could get (think Sisterhood of The Traveling Pants). I received an email from one of them talking about how she just *loved* the show "Jon and Kate + 8". I am also a huge fan of the show.
To me, it is one of the "realest" reality shows out there. It accurately portrays a real-life marriage, and the conversations that husbands and wife actually DO have, that includes the seemingly "bad" looks, and "tones" that some might call snappy. I could not believe that one of my dear friends actually despised the show! Below you'll see my response to the show's critic...

"As far as them being “hateful”…. Yeah she can be a bit bossy.. and he’s not the most… hmm sincere person… however- I love them because that is them- they’re real. They don’t try to schmooze it up for the cameras and make parenthood all glamorous…
The truth is.. there ARE times when you’re that short- because you have literally NO more patience left in you.
You’ve been running around all day- the baby’s crying and dropping everything everywhere.. including any sorts of snacks you hand to them to appease them while you’re at a restaurant just so that you can actually EAT your meal when its WARM and not cold because you’re so SICK of cold food.. and cold coffee (even though you’re not having coffee- you’re reminded that you don’t know what hot coffee IS anymore).. they’re screaming while you’re walking through the mall…. And yes- people will look at you like you’re beating them when you’re forcing them into their car seats because they’ve learned to arch their backs in order to fight you on going in. Oh yes- there ARE times when you might come across as hateful (and those around you will take it as you being hateful or disrespectful because of your tone..) …. HOWEVER… that’s what being married is about- being able to determine tones versus true disrespect. Because you get to that point with your hubby to where he knows your response isn’t “personal”… it’s out of frustration and stress… believe me- you’ll say things and react to things in ways you NEVER thought you would.
Just wait till you guys have kids...
But then you get home.. and they’ll give you a kiss.. or lay their head down on you because they’re sleepy.. or they’ll reach for you.. and you take a deep breath and remember WHY you do it and how you’re able to maintain your sanity. I love them because you can tell in the parts where they interview Jon and Kate that they really do love each other- and they have their ups and downs… but they’ve realized that its not about THEM – its about their kids.

That said though- yes- some of those kids DO need a swift smack on the butt- but I’m sure there are many “behind the scenes” kind of things they can and can’t do- and maybe spanking is something they’ve agreed to not do while filming.. and I’m sure some of the kids have picked up on that…

Lol… a new definition of “respect” comes into play.. "
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That being said... I love their show and applaude them for being able to put their lives "in the spotlight". I could not imagine having eight children and maintaining my sanity (muchless my composure) as well as they have done and are continuing to do. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!

Cuisine vs Drive Through

It was suggested to me by one of my good friends that I should consider starting a blog. At the time, I was assisting him in unraveling the “intricacies” of the female mind. I laughed when he mentioned this idea.. because to be completely honest- I’m 99% sure that men over analyze things on a scale comparable to our own “dramatic conclusions”… so from time to time- I “advise” him on certain encounters he has with women.
Now…just to clarify- I’m definitely not in the majority on where I am in life and how I got here… I’m 26, married, and have a baby. Although some might see me as “done with the dating scene” I feel like I’ve got MUCH more to contribute, because basically I feel like I’ve made “right” decisions for me, based on the situations I’ve encountered. Plus since I’m no longer in the dating “scene” – I think without the “love haze”.

Let’s rehash the “current events” section of my life… After being in Denver for 3 years… I found my perfect dog, Murphy… Met the man of my dreams (who is now my husband)…March 24 2007 Got married to my amazingly handsome fireman (don’t worry- same guy)… found out we had an amazing blessing coming our way… July 2, 2008 My entire world changed when I had my little girl .. been taking things day by day ever since.
I have a great job… I work in the energy industry and perform a job which allows me to learn about all aspects of each energy genre- from nuclear to wind. I love it and it is perfect for me because all my days are all different.

For my first entry… I’m going to address a common misconception held by most males. Females do, and always will, talk about sex with their friends… probably more than guys and their buddies talk… however- the conversation is different… an easy comparison would be to do a compare/contrast to a late night drive through menu, and an Italian cook book. Both get to the main dish… however- one tells you EXACTLY what you’ll get and what it costs… while the other explains what goes into it, how it’s made, and how long it takes to get there. Also included are the sordid details from experience giving you handy tips, tricks, and even shortcuts on how to get the desired results. Basically what I'm saying.. is that females utilize their friends for "new recipes"... where as men tend to fall prey to advertising "Fourth Meal"... as well as asking friends if they liked what they ordered.

Moral of the story.. Men - don't expect Fillet Mignon when your history consists of "ordering" off the dollar menu.