Random Health Feb

Recently I've been working very hard on my health and nutrition. Above are my efforts at food journaling. It's interesting.. and somewhat addictive. But I feel it's beneficial for me.

"Don't worry- tomorrow I'll smile and everything will be prefect... but today- I'm not going to act like it's okay"

I think the title adequately describes my feelings at this point in time... in fact I've gotten pretty damn good at smiling and acting... however- a line was crossed and it's not okay.

The person who inflicted the hurt knows how deep it went, and basically twisted the knife a little after too.

I don't consider myself a cold person- but there are times in your life when you're dealing with someone who regardless of how amazing you treat them- they refuse to treat you with the same respect.
I think it's time I cut off my feelings.... self preservation is necessary... I do have others in my life that need my love- and I'd rather save my energy for the ones who don't hurt me over and over again.

Friday afternoon lull...

Maybe it's the abnormally wet, less than warm weather that's causing me to be more pensive than my usual... but with my little girl's second birthday around the corner- I can't help but be a little reminiscent of the past couple years.

I feel like I've come to a time in my life where living day to day just isn't cutting it. I feel the need to forge ahead in many aspects of my life. Being on the verge of no longer having a "baby" forces you to deal with the realization that you're being looked up to- that someone who depends on you will be watching you constantly- and will start to look to you for ideas and support.

I've been thinking more and more about various volunteer work I'd like to become involved in... anyone who knows me know that I have vast array of interests- so trying to figure out the ones that make the cut is hard.
In my career, I'm finally at that "5 years experience" level that was so out of reach when I was right out of college. You know- all those jobs you were so frustrated with because in order to get on- you had to have experience... it was vicious, annoying cycle.
I'm feeling more empowered because I feel I'm finally contributing to my work... at a level that's finally recognizable.

The summer is here... and I can finally spend time outside again- although the weather here certainly hasn't helped. I love the time I'm able to spend at the park with my daughter, husband, and dog of course :)

I'm close to 30... and I've finally come into my own. I feel more confident, more attractive, and more capable than I ever have... I contribute most of that to a husband who keeps me on my toes (and who I love more than he'll ever know)... a little girl who is my world... and my family - who has enabled me to become who I am- and inspired me to think of the person I am becoming.

I'm getting ready to begin the book "Outliars"... I'm really excited about it because I'm ready to learn how to better engage my daughter... and myself.

Just A Note

The thought that crosses the mind... "I wonder sometimes if you're bored with me..."- when it's vocalized- was not meant to make you talk more about yourself.
It was a signal... some might call it a bonfire.
Being frustratingly amused with the inability to comprehend hints... nudges... that are meant to serve as signs along the road that warn of "curves ahead".
When the love of your life- says they feel like they've become a routine that you're simply happy with asking the same questions... getting the same answers... something needs to change.
In fact I don't even think you know that I enjoy writing... that I love my ability to accurately and completely unravel my feelings in writing because it flows out of my head and through my hands in ways that make it impossible for me to stop or have the feeling that I need to "put a filter on it".
Being able to write is what has helped me through some of the roughest moments of life.
I'm painfully aware of the fact that you have no idea that I even have a blog.
In fact I'm pretty sure you'll never read this... not only because you won't pay attention to the fact that it's in my profile... but the fact that it would take you sitting down and making a conscious effort to try and learn more about me- what goes through my head.

Suggestions:
Ask about the 600 pg book that was devoured in less than 24 hours...
- why I loved it
-what was it about?
-favorite aspects of the characters...
Ask about why I loved something so much that I did it over and over again until I memorized every single moment of it...
Ask me more than how my day went... and don't be "okay" with the short answers.. understand that short answers are strategic and selfless because I can hear in your voice the hope that I won't go into detail...

Let me know that you're fully aware of who I am- and not just going through the motions

Act interested in me

Favorite Quote...

"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars- points of light and reason. ... And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything." ~ Edward in New Moon

Giving Credit...

http://www.quileutenation.org/index.cfm?page=home.cfm

Being from Oklahoma... I thought it was so great to see the role of Native Americans being played in such a positive light...
I found the above link and was so happy that it wasn't just some made up story!
I applaud Ms.Meyer for doing due diligence work in her writing...
Wish more would use real life facts when it's plausible.

Rob Pattinson at Red Rocks...

I made the mistake of watching the cult classic Twilight movie over the weekend... due to my"motherhood" duties and my age... I hadn't watched it yet.
I say made the mistake because I actually ended up watching it like five times.
This story that Stephenie created... is beautiful. She did a masterful job of drawing in her audience... I have yet to read the books... but found a movie that drew me in so much I had to find out more about it.
I think it's mass appeal is the choice of roles for her characters.... Bella... the new girl... Most everyone at some time in their life has been this person. Not sure where you fit in... trying to figure it all out. I loved how the movie picked up on not only the feelings of cliques in the lunchroom... but the way that everyone reacts. It was so realistic- how could you not get drawn in... you can remember doing and saying those exact things. Can't wait to read the books now that I'm into it...
But onto the real reason I'm writing today...

I have to admit... I didn't know the names of the actors... I just knew I HAD to find out who sang the songs... when I went to google it... I had no idea who "Rob Pattinson" was... when I looked him up to see where I could buy his songs... I was tremendously disappointed to see he had nothing out. When I went to YouTube to listen to some more of him.. I saw who he was.
While he did an amazing job in the movie... and I am looking forward to watching him grow not only in his next role in the Twilight series... but overall. I would love to see him work on his music career. Obviously being out of the teenie bopper fan club ... I had no clue what the newbie's name was.. but immediately liked him immensely more once I discovered it was his voice in the song that gave me goosebumps.
I really hope that someone with a talent like his will take the high road and not get caught up in the Hollywood Hype... As a voice is something that doesn't go out of style and can touch so many lives without anyone ever knowing it. I know his voice immediately relaxed me and drew me in... It gives me chills to think about what he'd sound like at a venu like Red Rocks! ..... sorry- had a moment while thinking about what that'd be like..
I like to think I have an ear for music... and he definitely got my attention.

Elmo!!

My wonderful daughter is now at the age where she's starting to enhance her communication skills... and trying to repeat what is said when she is in earshot....
this being said- I have to share with you my "first" of the toddler misunderstandings...
so yesterday morning we were sitting down to breakfast. Breakfast at our house is our family sit-down meal because of Eva's "no tolerance" policy for a delay time for cooking dinner- and with my husband working until 9:30 a lot... breakfast is our family time.
So we're about to eat and we say our prayer.. and I say "amen".
Eva thinks that I said "Elmo".... and she gets so excited she screeches "MMEEEELLLLMMMOOOOOO"..... and continues to express her excitement for the fact that mommy said "elmo" during the prayer... and she says "melmo" about fifteen more times while she's eating... all while having a huge grin on her face...
It was probably one of the funniest misunderstandings I've encountered...
It's the little things in life that make each day amazing. :)

Spring Fever!!!

Alright I'm wearin' capris and a t-shirt.... it's the first week of March!!! SPRING FEVER HERE WE COME! I'm not sure about everyone else... but I'm ready for the winter to be D-U-N! (yes i know- that's NOT how you spell it- but it's for emphasis)
Time for shaking off the winter... putting away those winter clothes and moving the short sleeves to the FRONT of the closet- YEAHHH BUDDY!

So this means hikes and camping and cookouts and fishing and swimming is RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER!!!
I'm fully convinced that Denver IS the best place in the world... especially during the summer. No better place in the world than the front range and the Rocky Mountains.

In preparation for the summer... I'm evaluating how the winter went... and what I've got coming up.
So... for next winter- I vow the following:
I will not use the excuse "I'm storing up for winter" when I start to put on those five lbs as the weather cools off.
I will NOT allow myself to let things slide during the holidays.
I WILL get all my Christmas Presents to the people BEFORE Christmas... and I will have my Christmas shopping done before the mad rush hits.
I will be simplifying the holidays this year so that I can enjoy them- as opposed to them stressing me out.


Now... for this summer...
I will make sure that Eva gets out and plays as often and as much as possible!
I will be doing a triathlon this summer.
I will ENJOY swim suit shopping :)
I will make more time for "date nights" with the hubby...


Now that I'm done with my short-term goals... It's time for my random thought of the day..

So.. we all know how much I love my husband. Last night it occurred to me- that you CAN actually say one thing to him.... and he hears a TOTALLY different thing. I never really believed it- until last night.
Dishes have been sitting clean in the dishwasher for over a day now... so they start stacking up in the sink. Husband hears frustrated sigh from kitchen and volunteers to do this in order to avoid beginning of what could be the equivalent to the D-Day Storming of the beach of listing of what all I have been able to accomplish in the THIRTY minutes I've been home compared to the whopping list of ZERO he's done in the past 2 days. So in my mind- I'm like GREAT! It'll be done tonight- I will come out to make breakfast in the morning... and it'll be nice and put together! A freakin awesome way to start the morning.
Yeah- not so much. This morning I go out to get the coffee started- and what am I greeted by???? This looming, food crusted pile of plates... that has MIRACULOUSLY grown overnight....
It took everything I had not to yell- YOU LEFT THE FREAKIN PLATES!!!!!!! but then I realized this would only add to my frustration because it would wake Eva up... I felt like the commercial for "the Motherhood" where she yells- "STOP YELLING!!! YOU'LL WAKE THE BABY!!!!" (a show which- by the way- I CANNOT wait to see)
So in my mind- I'm throwing the plates at his head.... however- against my better judgement- I refrain and make the coffe... as I'm doing this he comes into the kitchen and... it's like it was PROJECTING off of me that I was screaming YOU DIDNT DO THIS!!!.... because literally- the first thing that was said was "I said I was going to do that... " at that moment... it hit me... we have two totally different time frames playing out here. To me... you just DO whatever it is that needs to be done as soon as possible... to him... it was "Yeah- I'll do it.... before the year ends".... At this point in time... I deferred to the AWESOME Pepsi commercial... you know the one where it's the woman.. and she's talking about how it's a woman's JOB to "share" her knowledge of what you're doing wrong with you- so that you can fix it... immediately.
So I took it upon myself to SHARE my infinite knowledge of GETTING SHIT DONE with my lovely husband... see apparently women- we fail to add the timeline in which we expect "yeah I'll do it" to be done... so now that I've shared that with my loving husband... I felt it was EXTREMELY important to share it with all the other wives as well :)

Have a great week!

Critique on Article about love...

Alright so- got a magazine that is sent out to North Metro/Boulder County area- "What's Love Got to do with it?" by Dylan Krider. It had this article in it that attempted to explain how love got started... "The latest science says romance has a lot in common with war, narcotics, and meat"... yeah- I know. It caught my attention as well. Basically it starts by using the example of Adam and Eve... asking what it was that actually gave us the "potential" to act against our instincts and do what is right as opposed to "spreading our genes".

The article goes on to talk about how with animals- only the ones with higher levels of intelligence have been show to develop close working relationships with its own kind. Saying there's a direct correlation between the "socialness" of an animal and it's inherit intelligence. Alright- I can get that.. it makes sense. Then it goes into how as humans became smarter- more women started to die during childbirth due to increased head circumference... so when you can only have one maybe two offspring at a time- a lot rides on it's survival- genetically speaking. Men took on the roles of "provider" only after it became apparent that increased protein led to healthier, longer living kiddos. Keep in mind- while men were out spearing things, women were busy laying the groundwork for modern civilization... agriculture, pottery, education... you name it.

Now is when I really got interested... the genetic basis for "cheating".... so the article says "...women are genetically wired to ensure they're impregnated by their lover- NOT their husband." He goes on to say.." as a general rule- you can determine the promiscuity of females as a species by the size of the males testes. For example, the enormous but monogamous gorilla only sports a pair of golf balls, whereas the female chimp....is courted by bow-legged males who look like they're lugging around a bag of canteloupe."
- I guess to me- this seems contradictory. Espcially since most men's "ahem" are much more comprable to golf balls than to canteloupe. So to me- the whole idea that men are "hardwired" to spread their seed doesn't exactly get it's roots in nature. Guess I'll have to add that to my list of questions to ask an ecologist (closely followed by the need for the pinky finger).

The article goes on to cite a recent study that boasts figures of anywhere from 45-55% of married women and 50-60% of married men have strayed at some point in their relationship.
HOLY CRAP... that's over half of the married men. The premise of this is to point out that while we are "wired" to cheat... that there must be a reason.. or force... powerful enough to nip the urge to cheat in the bud... enter dopamine.

The heroine of lovers... dopamine, is the said cause to keep wandering eyes (and other parts) in check. Krider goes as far to say that once dopamine wears off- that the attachment is formed- and the bond is solid- and strong enough to keep the want to cheat in check.

This is where I disagree- someone can have a bond without first having the dopamine fix. Look at frienship- for example. This easy example leads me to believe that there's much more to a lasting love than simply "bonding during the love high". Anyone who has been married for more than 15 years can tell you that. Hell- I've been married for two years and I promise you it's more than just a love-struck bond between my husband and I. Marriage is work. Marriage is a lot of work. There is no environmental/animalistic benefit to have to work so hard at something that can completely drive you crazy. So what is it that keeps people married? To me- it's the love of that person. Not looking at what they can do for you, and if they do enough- its beneficial to have them around (given those kinds are nice- but definitely not worth a lifetime of faking it). Most people enter into a marriage because the person complements their personality, lifestyle, timing, beliefs, etc.

In summary, if a person isn't happy- they'll cheat regardless of genetics. I have a hard time believing that cheating genes are the cause of adultery. Let's take a good hard look at a theory before giving "cheaters" and out to use as an excuse.

So I'm a Slacker!

Fine Fine... I'll admit- I've been slacking on the blogging side of things. However- I must say that I've got a dang good excuse... for those of you who know me- I am slightly competitive... FINE I'm EXTREMELY competitive- I said it OKAY. Anything that is capable of being won by me- I will try to win it. That's just how I am... with that being said... Jan. 15 I entered into a "fitness challenge" at the gym I go to- OneBoulder Fitness. It is a two month competition that basically pushes contestants to keep a daily food journal- and document everything you eat- keeping track of calorie values, protein content, carbs, fat, fiber...etc. I thought this was a fantastic way to channel my motivation for my lifestyle makeover. And well... It has been! The way it works is you start off with a beginning weight, total body measurements, body fat %... then you do a series of tests that supposedly test your "fitness". So basically- I've been working out 6 days a week now for about a month.. at my midpoint check in- I had lost 6 lbs.. almost 7 inches.. and my body fat % had decreased by 6% points. I was amazed. My endurance is better than it was in highschool... I was actually able to run 3 miles without stopping at the end of the first month- something I was NEVER able to do before... and I've been reminded that "round" isn't the shape of my face. Needless to say... been a little busy juggling being a mom, working and getting into "Hot Momma" shape :). However... I was reminded that this is such a healthy outlet for me. I'm really going to try and do better at it because I love writing.

My point today is that I'm happy with how I'm looking- and I really haven't been able to say that honestly in a very long time.
I've found out that I have a passion for helping people succeed. If the economy wasn't the way it was... you can bet your sweet butt I'd be getting certified to be a trainer and nutrition advisor. I love it and it truly makes me happy- while still being able to help other people.

However... until I'm able to seriously entertain that idea... I'm TOTALLY happy doing the job I have... which I love. Because like I've learned... you've gotta make the best of whatcha got.

The Holidays....

Hope that everyone had an extraordinary Christmas! I'm writing this while drinking a glass....or two... of "da vino"...
My Christmas was extremely good. Miss E. got her foam climbing blocks and has kept busy with them ever since- using them as slides and figuring out the best way to go down the fastest- usually sitting up going backwards. She's so amazing, and so much fun... I know that any day now she's just going to start talking in full sentences.
For Christmas I was the lucky recipient of CROSS CANADIAN RAGWEED and Pat Green tickets!!! As well as some "unmentionables" from my hubby... it was sweet- and I was flattered by the fact that he thought I'd look hot in "fire truck red" .... however due to my recent lifestyle change.. it's left me with a lack of undergarments that fit properly.... so while it was extremely flattering... it wasn't the most practical... but he scored MAJOR brownie points for trying!
I guess this Christmas for me- was more of a reality check... who are we kidding- everyone says they love the holidays... but I'm calling BULLSHIT on that one. Who REALLY enjoys the scramble to find those presents for everyone... not to mention the stress of getting cards out in enough time to cover your ass should someone send you a card that you didn't send one too. Also dealing with wrapping presents and unruly family... who you usually end up wanting to strangle. I don't think it's really the holidays we love- I have come to the conclusion that we love the idea of the holidays. Feeling warm and fuzzy watching those hokey Holiday specials... and feeling an increased sense of "friendliness" that is usually forgotten in the mall parking lots when that bastard in the Lexus decides to take the parking space that you've been sitting there with your blinker on, pining for the past twenty minutes... you really have to remind yourself that no level of satisfaction is worth a criminal record for harassment or violent behavior... although for a few fleeting seconds- you honestly feel it might break even.
No- I really don't relish the Holiday Fever... what I love about Christmas is actually Christmas itself... as well as the Christmas Eve service you go to- after of course you and your husband get into a fight because of his disdain for the fact that it really IS necessary that if you're showing legs- you DO shave even though it IS dark out...because you have to wear a dress last minute because you see him pulling out his suit coat and you know you can't show up in something simple if your husband is wearing a suit.
But back to the service... I love the sermon... the reminder of the birth of Christ... the candles and low lights minutes before you sing Silent Night... that is my favorite. Going to bed and knowing that when you wake up- that morning will be a part of your memory for the rest of your life. Everyone can have an appreciation for the notion that even though the world isn't perfect- on Christmas eve- there is the feeling that something so much bigger than anything you could ever imagine is taking place before you. That you have a role in the Nativity of Life... you have a fleeting glimpse of how much good is actually in the world.
I use the word glimpse- because one of my absolute favorite movies is "The Family Man". Jack gets a glimpse of what his life could've been like... and he sees all the good that is possible... I love that feeling. Waking up each morning and knowing that you have the chance every morning to life that day fully... it's really something we take advantage of. Being alive.
This Christmas as I watched my daughter placing her toys around the house- and reveling in her brilliance of playing with each of them in random order... I was reminded how thankful I am of being alive- and how blessed I am to wake up knowing how much I have to be thankful for.

Follow-up to Memo...

So.. back in October I had informed the online community that I was going to give myself a "life style update"....
I felt that since I announced it in such a manor- I should probably own up to what's been going on.
Let's start with my favorite- church... we've consistently gone to church and Greg and I have actually talked about the sermons!! For those of you who know my husband- having a serious conversation with him that lasts longer than five minutes is like saddling up an elk during the rut. (this is the same guy who when I asked if nuts gave him gas- he laughed- pointed to his crotch and said "well even if they did- I don't think there's much I could do about it... I've grown quite attached to them"...) given yesterday we did make it TO church- as in the parking lot- but we realized we were twenty minutes late... and not that God hands out tardies or anything- but we just felt wrong walking into church during the middle of the sermon- especially since there's no "back door"- you walk in from the side of the sanctuary- so when you're late- EVERYONE SEES YOU... including the pastor- who usually waves... (FINE-WE'RE LATE A LOT! I CAN'T HELP IT!!! It's a genetic predisposition I have...for those of you who know my mother)
Anyways-we're doing good on the church front.

As far as my gym commitment... I have gone each week at least four times (I try for 5)... and in the past 6 weeks I've lost 15 pounds and 14 inches!!!
I'm getting pretty close to where I was in high school... which to me- makes me happy.

About simplifying my life- I feel I've been doing pretty good. I haven't just shopped without need... and even when I've felt the urge to splurge- I haven't. With Christmas coming up- I'm sure I'll be tested... but trial by fire seems to work out well for me- so bring it on!
My stress level has decreased tremendously, probably mostly due to the fact that I'm working out on my lunch.. so my day is split up and I have an outlet for work stress, and I get an hour to be selfish and just worry about me. Which I've found I've kind of come to need. My dad always told me that our family genetics included tendencies for addiction- the trick- he said- was to make sure that you develop healthy addictions. I feel I've capitalized on that.

Like I've said in my previous posts... Life is good.
... and on that note- so is yours! You've just got to capitalize on the good! :)

Thanksgiving in Review..

For those of you who know my family- Thanksgiving is usually a big deal. Lots of food- tons of family running around- followed by football with uncontrolled napping... as well as shopping with unbridled glee 12 hours after.
However- this Thanksgiving was very humbling. I say that in a good way. Basically, it forced our family to look at all of the things we have to be thankful for.
A week before Thanksgiving- Papa (my mom's dad) passed out while he was taking a shower. He fell and got a compound fracture in his left leg. The incident got complicated by his knees- he'd had both of them replaced- so they're both metal. The break occurred right above his knee- so when he fell in the shower- he wasn't able to adjust himself to even get out. Fortunately, my mom's cousin was able to be reached and he was able to come help get him out of the shower while they waited for paramedics to arrive. Once he got to the hospital, they determined that he needed surgery- and since he's only got 30% of his heart working- it's considered a relatively large risk. Since he's always had such good health though- they went through with it and inserted a metal plate where the bone used to be. Surgery went well- and he spent the first few days in the hospital in Hays, Ks.
They transported him back to Ness City where he will be for the next seven weeks or so. He's doing rehabilitation and resting up there.

Basically- our whole Thanksgiving was completely "by the seat of your pants"... in fact- we didn't even know if we were going until a day before. We didn't feel right going to my grandma's house because we felt that would just be additional pressure- so we had our Thanksgiving meal at the Golden Corral. It was my mom's brother, his wife, my two cousins- Matt and Sarah, Dad, Max, Greg, Eva and myself. As we were eating- it dawned on me that for sooooo long I'd been afforded the opportunity to not have to worry about plans for Thanksgiving- it was always a given that we'd eat as a family at someone's house. Health had never before been an issue, and neither had availability.
What was it about that holiday that gave me the impression that you couldn't "eat out" with family? Had I really taken that much for granted in the past? Why did it feel so awkward to be sitting in a restaurant surrounded by strangers on a day when you're supposed to be Thankful for the food that's in front of you?
In all honesty- yes- I had been taking everything for granted. I had failed to appreciate the simple fact that I was able to see and spend time with my family... much less graze endlessly on the feast laid out before me. I have so much to be Thankful for- why is it that it takes a close call to bring you back down to earth?

This Thanksgiving- I will always remember. Not because it was an exceptionally good one... but because it brought to my attention what I should remember to be thankful for on a daily basis.

We were able to steal a back room at the Care Center in Ness, and continue our eating and snacking as a family. My mom, grandma, and grandpa were able to participate in the eating of pumpkin pie and various other snacks. THAT is the feeling that I will always remember. THAT is what humbled me... listening to Papa say his traditionally amazingly long prayer before we ate... I can tell you- this time- it didn't seem nearly long enough.

As amazingly unconventional as my Thanksgiving was- I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Fireman's Wife

So for those of you who don't know... my hubby is working on becoming a fireman. IN FACT- he's basically a shoe-in for this awesome internship program up north of here. He's currently working as an EMT, and he's so great at it. I am so very proud of him and everything that he's done and what he wants to do.

It seems that now that he's in the running for a position- I've been doing some thinking about what all my new role will entail and what to expect... so I've come to a few conclusions...
- My husband will be facing danger at basically every call he responds to.
- Each time I tell him good bye- there will ALWAYS be that chance it will be the last.
- Once dry season comes- Eva and I will be by ourselves for weeks at a time.
- He has no reservations about running into a burning building risking his life to help someone else.
- He has got one of the biggest hearts of anyone I know
- I could not be more proud of him.


I know that there are thousands of wives who deal with this same issue, and have been for thousands of years. But I can't help but wonder how they have dealt with being in this role. It will be much simpler since we're in the "age of instant communication"... but I cannot imagine what it must've been like to just be waiting at home for him to return... then hearing days later that he will never walk through the door.
I can't help but feel like I should take the time now to appreciate our time together, and make it a point to always let him know how much I love him and how proud I am of him.

I guess my point today is to appreciate your husband. Never take for granted those mornings when you've got that extra few minutes to lay in bed with his arms wrapped around you. I've got to do a better job of appreciating that!

Marriage ... what no one ever tells you..

I have been married to my husband for close to two years now. Given our marriage was "accelerated" by a few things.. however- I think there are a few KEY items that I was never informed about before we "took the plunge". I feel it is my duty to women everywhere to let them know what REALLY happens behind closed doors- because I was completely unprepared.

Those "adorable" little quirks he has that you think are lovable now... will REALLY irk you at some point in the future. He will leave the dishes in the sink when he could easily and effortlessly, just wash them off and throw them in the dish washer. His chivalrous traits will wane slightly, although not all the way. You will at times have to give him "that look" when he forgets to open your car door for you, or doesn't hold the door open, or makes an entrance in front of you.

You WILL get in the BIGGEST fights over petty things because they happen again.... and again... and again.... AND the OTHER things you will fight about will be based around Sex, Money, and Family (and probably in that order).

You WILL have days when you do things to each other just to annoy them.
You WILL have days when you just don't want to talk to him.
You WILL (eventually) fight over who goes to the grocery store.
You WILL come to the realization that there are some things that he will just NEVER understand.
You WILL wonder why you chose to get married in the first place.
You WILL doubt decisions you've made.
You WILL get into a fight because you will be "too tired".
You Will NEVER understand his obsession over some of his "toys".
You WILL yell at him because he does NOT understand that doing the laundry doesn't mean just turning on the washing machine and throwing a load in- a complete "laundry" session constitutes of ACTUALLY remembering to put them in the dryer- and for the 100th time- your FAVORITE sweater does NOT go in the dryer... and that a Dryer sheet is - in fact- a necessity.
You WILL tell him how disgusting he is for clipping his toe nails in random places- and you will have to tell him over and over again to do it over the trashcan or toilet.
You WILL gently (then not so gently) point out that dirty clothes NEXT to the hamper are only inches away from the actual hamper... IT IS NOT THAT HARD TO PUT THEM IN THERE!!!!!
You WILL get grossed out by what he considers "acceptable" breakfast food (Ramen is NOT a breakfast food)
You WILL feel like his mother/keeper at times.

However... with the bad- you've also got a lot of good...
You WILL have some of the best times of your life with him.
He WILL make up for his perceived short comings
You WILL still consider some of his quirks cute.
He WILL be one of the only ones who can totally turn your day around.
You WILL be thankful to be going home to him when you hear your friends talking about their dating experiences
He WILL support and love you and see you through huge changes in your life- and he will fully understand everything going on- because it's his life too.

All in all... you ARE happier being married- but because you love him so much- you're able to get mad at him and yell at him because when it comes down to it... that's what marriage is about. You know all of each other's faults and short comings- but you love each other regardless- and because of that- you love each other even more.

Memo To The World

Recently, as some of you might know, I came down with whooping cough. I was basically "out of commission" for a month... During that time, a lot happened. My husband and I had a critical moment in our marriage, my grandmother had last-minute open heart surgery, and an extremely close friend lost someone very dear to them. It really made me re-evaluate my life. I began doing some reading into simplifying your life... and what it really means to take care of yourself. This brought on more personal issues as I delved deeper into why I am the way I am, and how much has changed in my life over the past five years. I began asking myself why I was taking advantage of life... why I don't take more time for prayer and meditation...why I struggle with weight... why I was becoming so stressed out over trivial issues... This brought me to a conclusion- I bring this on myself.
I had become so wrapped up in just everything- I had forgotten to take care of me. Now given, my life has been a whirlwind the past few years, but that's no excuse for someone to not take the high road.

So after doing some praying, more reading, and soul searching... I have decided to say no. "What?" you say... "Say no to what?"... I am saying no to excuses; no to bad judgment; and no to actions that don't reflect the person that I want to be.

I'm sure most of you are thinking... meh- this is a phase she's going through... she'll get tired of it. But that is exactly why I'm publishing this... by posting this to review by my friends, family, and even strangers- I am allowing people to openly see my struggles. Making intentions public automatically mean that I can be held accountable to this change.

What am I changing? Little things- which are, in the end, the biggest things. I began by going through my closet and getting rid of clothing that I never wear. To me, this symbolized ridding myself of unnecessary materialism. I then looked at my average day, and forced myself to rework my schedule to include only the things that I considered important and that make me happy.... and an AMAZING thing has happened!! I've found more time to do things I love!!! I'm no longer stressed out in the mornings when we're running around the house getting ready to leave... I enjoy sitting down and eating breakfast and watching cartoons with my daughter... I love going to work being prepared- but relaxed throughout the day.. I LOVE going to pick up my daughter and going to the park, or going for a walk without thinking that I need to be doing other things. Since I made more time in my day, I actually have time to think about me, and what I need to do for myself so that I'm at MY best... so I've starting reading the bible again daily, taking time to pray and meditate on what I've read and what's on my heart- to write it down... Being able to do this- reminded me that my body IS a temple.. and I need to take care of it- so I joined a gym so that I'm able to work out during my lunch. I consider working out a release, and this new trend keeps me energized throughout my day. I am really excited about this lifestyle "update"... and really feel good about making a change.

We only have one life, and I plan on living it to the fullest in the best way possible. I encourage you to do one thing- jot down the most important four or five things in your life... then look at your average day. How can you make your days better? What needless tasks can you eliminate? How much do you watch TV, or spend on the computer at home? What can you change so that you're spending more time doing what you love? Ask yourself those questions, and I promise, you'll want to "update your life" as well!!!

I really love my husband

So everyone knows that I adore my husband.. I love him to death...
However... no not even a however.. This case calls for a "but"...
I LOVE MY HUSBAND.. BUT...
The other morning.. I coulda' KEEEEEEEHHHHLLLLLLLLDDDD him. (that's "killed" for those of you not familiar with Achmed the Dead Terrorist).
So... our beautiful little girl has a little run in with diarrhea. It was horrid, so of course- we take her to the tub to take her clothes off and hose her down.. so as I'm giving her a bath.. I hear him turn on the washing machine... I'm PRAYING that he didn't just throw the clothes in without washing them off... so I continue bathing her.. and he walks into the bathroom with an accomplished smile on his face.. and I ask... "you did wash off the clothes before you threw them in the washing machine- didn't you?"... his smile fades.. "No- why would you need to- it washes them for you... that's why its called a WASHING MACHINE."

Now... by this point in time... its about 7:30 in the morning.. we're already running late.. I'm beyond annoyed- and his seemingly funny retort just mangled the morning more.

"You're right... we only want CLEAN SHIT floating around in our washing machine.. What ARE you thinking?!?!?!? WAIT!! I know.. you AREN'T because no person in their right mind would throw clothes that have BABY crap ALL over them right into the wash to be 'washed' right along with the clothes!!!"

Of course this instigates an all out fight in which I am perfect and never do anything wrong- and how he can't do anything right. UGH!


SERIOUSLY... this wouldn't happen if men would do take care of SHIT before helping out!!!

hehe no pun intended..

Where do we Americans get off...

So... the other night on one of those "history channel" specials did an in-depth coverage on the "energy crisis". Of course- since I'm a geek- I watched it- and took notes. (Much to Greg's dismay it was my turn to be couch commando- so he had to suffer through basically a crash course of energy- and watching things he had NO interest in... I took as payback for the endless hours I've had to listen or watch the Rockies)... however- back to the subject...
They interviewed a series of people.. consisting of executives of BP, Exxon, etc., as well as "industry gurus" who have been studying consumption and development patterns and numbers basically their entire life. In opposition, of course they found environmental activists, harking on how oil is keeping renewables from springing up.

Blaming the government for lack of funding/interest...

Let's get to what really irks me.
First and foremost- I see the ACTUAL usage of the entire US on a daily basis. I document and analyze energy projects that are in all stages- just announced, under construction...etc. I can tell you right now- the government isn't keeping renewables from taking over- it's the INABILITY of American's to stomach the costs, and habits that we'd have to take up in order to MAKE them happen.
Let's rehash the typical American's day... we get up.. turn off our alarm clocks..turn on coffee (made with water we don't need to worry if it's drinkable or not)... stumble to the light switch and turn them on without a second thought to whether or not there will be electricity... then we take our shower.. do our grooming routines... make up, hair stuff, blowdryer, etc... once we're done.. then we get breakfast ready for ourselves or kids... which usually means toaster, frying pan... food from the refrigerator or freezer.. milk/juice from the local walmart...or from the pantry- filled with more food items than most families in the world will see in a month... then pick our coffee cup or plate from our choice of dishware...turn on the TV... AND WE HAVEN'T EVEN LEFT OUR HOUSE YET!!!!!
We are all guilty of keeping renewables from happening. The truth is- while there's an abundance of them, they ARE NOT AS RELIABLE (right now) as America would need them to be to support our Mornings- MUCH LESS OUR ENTIRE DAY!!
Even right now- if you're reading this... you're sitting at a computer because you've got time and resources available to you. You probably have a phone sitting within an arm's reach as well.

Basically, what I'm saying is that we have had such a shift in society from providing our own necessitites of life... we no longer have the capability to be self-sufficient! There has been a complete and total change in the habits of this country. We are no longer required to produce our own food, provide shelter, or basically anything else. We've gotten so used to having things HANDED to us- it is now expected and not just expected- but demanded.
Until we experience a shift in our ideaology of expecting to have everything when we want it- our "dependence" on fossil fuels isn't an option- it's a way of life.

A Day In The Life

So yesterday I ventured into the world of blogging... Like I said.. I am doing this not only as an outlet- but for "educational purposes" as well.

For those of you who have kids, you'll appreciate this post...
Let me preface this entry with a little background. Throughout high school, I had three very close friends. The odd thing about our little "gang" is that we were all as different as you could get (think Sisterhood of The Traveling Pants). I received an email from one of them talking about how she just *loved* the show "Jon and Kate + 8". I am also a huge fan of the show.
To me, it is one of the "realest" reality shows out there. It accurately portrays a real-life marriage, and the conversations that husbands and wife actually DO have, that includes the seemingly "bad" looks, and "tones" that some might call snappy. I could not believe that one of my dear friends actually despised the show! Below you'll see my response to the show's critic...

"As far as them being “hateful”…. Yeah she can be a bit bossy.. and he’s not the most… hmm sincere person… however- I love them because that is them- they’re real. They don’t try to schmooze it up for the cameras and make parenthood all glamorous…
The truth is.. there ARE times when you’re that short- because you have literally NO more patience left in you.
You’ve been running around all day- the baby’s crying and dropping everything everywhere.. including any sorts of snacks you hand to them to appease them while you’re at a restaurant just so that you can actually EAT your meal when its WARM and not cold because you’re so SICK of cold food.. and cold coffee (even though you’re not having coffee- you’re reminded that you don’t know what hot coffee IS anymore).. they’re screaming while you’re walking through the mall…. And yes- people will look at you like you’re beating them when you’re forcing them into their car seats because they’ve learned to arch their backs in order to fight you on going in. Oh yes- there ARE times when you might come across as hateful (and those around you will take it as you being hateful or disrespectful because of your tone..) …. HOWEVER… that’s what being married is about- being able to determine tones versus true disrespect. Because you get to that point with your hubby to where he knows your response isn’t “personal”… it’s out of frustration and stress… believe me- you’ll say things and react to things in ways you NEVER thought you would.
Just wait till you guys have kids...
But then you get home.. and they’ll give you a kiss.. or lay their head down on you because they’re sleepy.. or they’ll reach for you.. and you take a deep breath and remember WHY you do it and how you’re able to maintain your sanity. I love them because you can tell in the parts where they interview Jon and Kate that they really do love each other- and they have their ups and downs… but they’ve realized that its not about THEM – its about their kids.

That said though- yes- some of those kids DO need a swift smack on the butt- but I’m sure there are many “behind the scenes” kind of things they can and can’t do- and maybe spanking is something they’ve agreed to not do while filming.. and I’m sure some of the kids have picked up on that…

Lol… a new definition of “respect” comes into play.. "
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That being said... I love their show and applaude them for being able to put their lives "in the spotlight". I could not imagine having eight children and maintaining my sanity (muchless my composure) as well as they have done and are continuing to do. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!