Friday afternoon lull...

Maybe it's the abnormally wet, less than warm weather that's causing me to be more pensive than my usual... but with my little girl's second birthday around the corner- I can't help but be a little reminiscent of the past couple years.

I feel like I've come to a time in my life where living day to day just isn't cutting it. I feel the need to forge ahead in many aspects of my life. Being on the verge of no longer having a "baby" forces you to deal with the realization that you're being looked up to- that someone who depends on you will be watching you constantly- and will start to look to you for ideas and support.

I've been thinking more and more about various volunteer work I'd like to become involved in... anyone who knows me know that I have vast array of interests- so trying to figure out the ones that make the cut is hard.
In my career, I'm finally at that "5 years experience" level that was so out of reach when I was right out of college. You know- all those jobs you were so frustrated with because in order to get on- you had to have experience... it was vicious, annoying cycle.
I'm feeling more empowered because I feel I'm finally contributing to my work... at a level that's finally recognizable.

The summer is here... and I can finally spend time outside again- although the weather here certainly hasn't helped. I love the time I'm able to spend at the park with my daughter, husband, and dog of course :)

I'm close to 30... and I've finally come into my own. I feel more confident, more attractive, and more capable than I ever have... I contribute most of that to a husband who keeps me on my toes (and who I love more than he'll ever know)... a little girl who is my world... and my family - who has enabled me to become who I am- and inspired me to think of the person I am becoming.

I'm getting ready to begin the book "Outliars"... I'm really excited about it because I'm ready to learn how to better engage my daughter... and myself.

Just A Note

The thought that crosses the mind... "I wonder sometimes if you're bored with me..."- when it's vocalized- was not meant to make you talk more about yourself.
It was a signal... some might call it a bonfire.
Being frustratingly amused with the inability to comprehend hints... nudges... that are meant to serve as signs along the road that warn of "curves ahead".
When the love of your life- says they feel like they've become a routine that you're simply happy with asking the same questions... getting the same answers... something needs to change.
In fact I don't even think you know that I enjoy writing... that I love my ability to accurately and completely unravel my feelings in writing because it flows out of my head and through my hands in ways that make it impossible for me to stop or have the feeling that I need to "put a filter on it".
Being able to write is what has helped me through some of the roughest moments of life.
I'm painfully aware of the fact that you have no idea that I even have a blog.
In fact I'm pretty sure you'll never read this... not only because you won't pay attention to the fact that it's in my profile... but the fact that it would take you sitting down and making a conscious effort to try and learn more about me- what goes through my head.

Suggestions:
Ask about the 600 pg book that was devoured in less than 24 hours...
- why I loved it
-what was it about?
-favorite aspects of the characters...
Ask about why I loved something so much that I did it over and over again until I memorized every single moment of it...
Ask me more than how my day went... and don't be "okay" with the short answers.. understand that short answers are strategic and selfless because I can hear in your voice the hope that I won't go into detail...

Let me know that you're fully aware of who I am- and not just going through the motions

Act interested in me

Favorite Quote...

"Before you, Bella, my life was like a moonless night. Very dark, but there were stars- points of light and reason. ... And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything." ~ Edward in New Moon

Giving Credit...

http://www.quileutenation.org/index.cfm?page=home.cfm

Being from Oklahoma... I thought it was so great to see the role of Native Americans being played in such a positive light...
I found the above link and was so happy that it wasn't just some made up story!
I applaud Ms.Meyer for doing due diligence work in her writing...
Wish more would use real life facts when it's plausible.

Rob Pattinson at Red Rocks...

I made the mistake of watching the cult classic Twilight movie over the weekend... due to my"motherhood" duties and my age... I hadn't watched it yet.
I say made the mistake because I actually ended up watching it like five times.
This story that Stephenie created... is beautiful. She did a masterful job of drawing in her audience... I have yet to read the books... but found a movie that drew me in so much I had to find out more about it.
I think it's mass appeal is the choice of roles for her characters.... Bella... the new girl... Most everyone at some time in their life has been this person. Not sure where you fit in... trying to figure it all out. I loved how the movie picked up on not only the feelings of cliques in the lunchroom... but the way that everyone reacts. It was so realistic- how could you not get drawn in... you can remember doing and saying those exact things. Can't wait to read the books now that I'm into it...
But onto the real reason I'm writing today...

I have to admit... I didn't know the names of the actors... I just knew I HAD to find out who sang the songs... when I went to google it... I had no idea who "Rob Pattinson" was... when I looked him up to see where I could buy his songs... I was tremendously disappointed to see he had nothing out. When I went to YouTube to listen to some more of him.. I saw who he was.
While he did an amazing job in the movie... and I am looking forward to watching him grow not only in his next role in the Twilight series... but overall. I would love to see him work on his music career. Obviously being out of the teenie bopper fan club ... I had no clue what the newbie's name was.. but immediately liked him immensely more once I discovered it was his voice in the song that gave me goosebumps.
I really hope that someone with a talent like his will take the high road and not get caught up in the Hollywood Hype... As a voice is something that doesn't go out of style and can touch so many lives without anyone ever knowing it. I know his voice immediately relaxed me and drew me in... It gives me chills to think about what he'd sound like at a venu like Red Rocks! ..... sorry- had a moment while thinking about what that'd be like..
I like to think I have an ear for music... and he definitely got my attention.

Elmo!!

My wonderful daughter is now at the age where she's starting to enhance her communication skills... and trying to repeat what is said when she is in earshot....
this being said- I have to share with you my "first" of the toddler misunderstandings...
so yesterday morning we were sitting down to breakfast. Breakfast at our house is our family sit-down meal because of Eva's "no tolerance" policy for a delay time for cooking dinner- and with my husband working until 9:30 a lot... breakfast is our family time.
So we're about to eat and we say our prayer.. and I say "amen".
Eva thinks that I said "Elmo".... and she gets so excited she screeches "MMEEEELLLLMMMOOOOOO"..... and continues to express her excitement for the fact that mommy said "elmo" during the prayer... and she says "melmo" about fifteen more times while she's eating... all while having a huge grin on her face...
It was probably one of the funniest misunderstandings I've encountered...
It's the little things in life that make each day amazing. :)

Spring Fever!!!

Alright I'm wearin' capris and a t-shirt.... it's the first week of March!!! SPRING FEVER HERE WE COME! I'm not sure about everyone else... but I'm ready for the winter to be D-U-N! (yes i know- that's NOT how you spell it- but it's for emphasis)
Time for shaking off the winter... putting away those winter clothes and moving the short sleeves to the FRONT of the closet- YEAHHH BUDDY!

So this means hikes and camping and cookouts and fishing and swimming is RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER!!!
I'm fully convinced that Denver IS the best place in the world... especially during the summer. No better place in the world than the front range and the Rocky Mountains.

In preparation for the summer... I'm evaluating how the winter went... and what I've got coming up.
So... for next winter- I vow the following:
I will not use the excuse "I'm storing up for winter" when I start to put on those five lbs as the weather cools off.
I will NOT allow myself to let things slide during the holidays.
I WILL get all my Christmas Presents to the people BEFORE Christmas... and I will have my Christmas shopping done before the mad rush hits.
I will be simplifying the holidays this year so that I can enjoy them- as opposed to them stressing me out.


Now... for this summer...
I will make sure that Eva gets out and plays as often and as much as possible!
I will be doing a triathlon this summer.
I will ENJOY swim suit shopping :)
I will make more time for "date nights" with the hubby...


Now that I'm done with my short-term goals... It's time for my random thought of the day..

So.. we all know how much I love my husband. Last night it occurred to me- that you CAN actually say one thing to him.... and he hears a TOTALLY different thing. I never really believed it- until last night.
Dishes have been sitting clean in the dishwasher for over a day now... so they start stacking up in the sink. Husband hears frustrated sigh from kitchen and volunteers to do this in order to avoid beginning of what could be the equivalent to the D-Day Storming of the beach of listing of what all I have been able to accomplish in the THIRTY minutes I've been home compared to the whopping list of ZERO he's done in the past 2 days. So in my mind- I'm like GREAT! It'll be done tonight- I will come out to make breakfast in the morning... and it'll be nice and put together! A freakin awesome way to start the morning.
Yeah- not so much. This morning I go out to get the coffee started- and what am I greeted by???? This looming, food crusted pile of plates... that has MIRACULOUSLY grown overnight....
It took everything I had not to yell- YOU LEFT THE FREAKIN PLATES!!!!!!! but then I realized this would only add to my frustration because it would wake Eva up... I felt like the commercial for "the Motherhood" where she yells- "STOP YELLING!!! YOU'LL WAKE THE BABY!!!!" (a show which- by the way- I CANNOT wait to see)
So in my mind- I'm throwing the plates at his head.... however- against my better judgement- I refrain and make the coffe... as I'm doing this he comes into the kitchen and... it's like it was PROJECTING off of me that I was screaming YOU DIDNT DO THIS!!!.... because literally- the first thing that was said was "I said I was going to do that... " at that moment... it hit me... we have two totally different time frames playing out here. To me... you just DO whatever it is that needs to be done as soon as possible... to him... it was "Yeah- I'll do it.... before the year ends".... At this point in time... I deferred to the AWESOME Pepsi commercial... you know the one where it's the woman.. and she's talking about how it's a woman's JOB to "share" her knowledge of what you're doing wrong with you- so that you can fix it... immediately.
So I took it upon myself to SHARE my infinite knowledge of GETTING SHIT DONE with my lovely husband... see apparently women- we fail to add the timeline in which we expect "yeah I'll do it" to be done... so now that I've shared that with my loving husband... I felt it was EXTREMELY important to share it with all the other wives as well :)

Have a great week!